Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Well, this is MY Cougar Moment...

Nothing happens in my life.  Nothing.  Do you understand?  I get up.  I jog.  I go to work.  They beat me up.  I go home.  They beat me up.  I make lunches.  I clean up from dinner.  I get the coffee ready for the 4:30 wake up, (ahhh...coffee!), and thats it.  Everything in between consists of running my kids around, (mostly the 15 year old) and watching The Yankees and the Giants and two shows on TV.  (I follow 24 and Lost.)  So now you know how boring my life really is!  So something happened two weeks ago that was really surreal, crazy and interesting.
I had to work late (as it has been the case lately) and was leaving the building listening to my music.  I was set to do a quick walk to the bus terminal and get the next bus as fast as possible so I could resume my boring life at home when a well dressed older woman approached me with a bit of an excited look on her face and was obviously asking me something.  She was a nice looking woman who was probably somewhere in her early 60's.  She had the look of someone who was in town for a show, or a night on the town.  I figured she was looking for a theater or a restaurant and was seeking my help to find it.  I had my music up pretty loud, (it had been a stressful day and I was decompressing) so I didn't hear what she was saying.  I stopped and pulled one ear bud out of my ear and said, "I'm sorry ma'am.  I didn't hear you.  What is it you need?"  She looked at me and said "Oh your listening to music? Oh that's nice.  Music."  Instantly I knew I had made a mistake.  Another looney tune in the city and I decided to stop and talk.  "Yes.  I'm listening to music." I said to her.  "What can I help you with?"  She looked straight at me and said"  I don't live far from here.  I was wondering if you would like to come to my place and have a little fun.  We could have some drinks and have some fun.  What do you say?"  My ears were hearing it, but my mind was processing it saying "Noooo way!  Did this broad just proposition me?"  Then she asked me again, "do you want to go?  I really don't live far form here."  Then I did something I probably shouldn't have done, but I couldn't help it.  I laughed.  Out loud.  I couldn't help it.  The whole scene was bizarre, surreal and just plain insane at the same time.  I held up my ring finger and said "I'm sorry.  I'm a married man."  She sniffed and said "oh" and walked on.
When I got home I told my wife and she laughed..... hysterically.  I suppose she isn't threatened by this.
I guess this was my "cougar" moment.  When you're 48 years old the cougars would be about 60 something.
Maybe older...that's just plain scary.