Friday, December 25, 2009

Its a Wonderful Life to Die Harder!

I like to watch the Frank Capra holiday classic "It's a Wonderful Life" on Christmas Eve. I like it up to the part where that dotty old Uncle Billy brags to Old Man Potter about his nephew Harry saving a transport full of soldiers in the Pacific and being awarded the Silver Star for heroism and inadvertently drops the days receipts from the building and loan into Potters lap. Uncle Billy just deposits 8 grand into the richest man in the towns lap unknowingly and then goes about his business in the bank. Both men don't know what happened until the old coot Uncle Billy tries to deposit an empty envelope and the teller informs him of the missing dough. Then Old Man Potter opens his newspaper, and WAALAA! he's just found $8,000.00 in the sports section! Damn fine way to start Christmas Eve!
The thing that gets me pissed off about this part of the movie is that there's no retribution for Potter. All this crap happens to George Bailey, losing the money, the bank examiner being there, the authorities coming to the Bailey household with a warrant to take George to jail, George trying to commit suicide but being saved by an inept angel, and then seeing what the world would look like if he was never born because Potter never says, "oh hey Bill, you dropped your money in my wheelchair!". He lets this play out and bad stuff happens. Oh sure, all the lovely people in town bail out George and Clarence gets his wings, but Potter gets off scott-free. I think we need to inject Bruce Willis into a remake. After Clarence gets his wings, he should drop a note with George Bailey that Potter had the money all along. Then George and Bert the cop, and maybe Ernie the cab driver,
(cause he looks nuts) can get themselves some shotguns and dynamite and get over to Potters. First they take out that Lurch like man-servant that protects Potter. Then they can shoot up his house like Rambo did to that police station. Then once Potter is inside cowering and crying for mercy, they can strap dynamite to his wheelchair and blow the crap outta him.
Then all will be set straight in Bedford-Falls.
Merry Christmas

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